Whole
by lilysteel
Summary: Eowyn is recovering in the houses of healing,when the person she loves steps into the picture. She must find the strength to confront her past and Aragorn. There's a little surprise, though. read to find out! AragornEowyn so far
1. A stranger in the Dark

WHOLE

Eowyn found herself in darkness, in a place of evil and ruin and death. She looked around- but there was nothing to see, for everywhere was a mist, swirling around her everytime she moved. She felt trapped, even in this infinite space, like she was newly brounght back into the cage she had just broken free of. The air around her was boiling to breathe and to feel, yet Eowyn shivered, for she felt an icy sensation going through her. She started shivering uncontrollably, and felt the ice inside her surrounding her heart, weakening it. Eowyn dropped to her knees, for she was finding it hard to breathe- her lungs felt like they were being compressed, and however hard Eowyn tried to get the rancid air into her lungs, they would not inflate. She fell on her back, barely holding on to conciesness, fighting for it with everything she had. Then suddenly, she stopped fighting, letting the ice freeze her brain and bring her into darkness. For what hope was there? She had wished to die in battle, and now she had her wish. With a smile, she prepared to let everything go.

But then, above her, a little light appeared, and shined upon her. Eowyn looked up, and suddenly she was reminded of a time when she was a little girl, and her family took her into the woods on a camping trip. Then she saw a light ahead of her, and ran towards it in curiosity, and lo- before her was a humanlike race- but their faces displayed such complicated beauty that she knew they could not be human. The were the elves- heading for the ships in Valinor that would take them across the sea. Eowyn stared in wonder and awe, until the elves vanished form sight, leaving the woods in darkness.

As Eowyn was immersed in her memories, a voice floated down to her.

" I have, maybe, the pwer to heal her body, and to recall her from the dark valley. But to what she will awake: hope, of forgetfulness, or despair, i do not kow. And if to despair, then she will die, unless some other healing comes which i cannot bring. Alas! for her deeds have set her among the queends of great renown."

Eowyn sat up, and foud that she could breathe. Yet she couldn' t het the heavenly voice out of her head. It's tones reminded her of the voices of the elves as they sung and chanted. The voice continued to speak, but Eowyn could not maked out its words. The voice was strangely familiar to her- it sent the shadow of an ache to her heart- an ache she thought she had overcome.

Eowyn listened closely. The voice seemed to be calling her name again ands again, but then it changed. The new voice she knew. It was one of her kin, one that she loved.

Eowyn felt then that she was being lifted, up out of the darkness, into the light. She thought she saw angels smiling down at her.

Then it was all gone.

Eowyn opened her eyes. There were indeed people smiling down at her, but they were not angels. Closest was Eomer, tears streaming down his face.

" Eomer, Eomer, what joy is this? Nay, that was just the voices in my dram. How long have I been dreaming?"asked Eowyn.

" Not long, dear sister, but think no more on it. Now you must rest," said Eomer, putting a hand over his sister's eyes.

Not a moment after this was said, Eowyn felt her mind ebbing away, but this time to a place of peace and comfort, and she dreamed.

Eowyn awoke bathed in sunlight in the room she had woken in before. This time, though, it was empty save for a healer woman, who upon seeing her charge awake, was hurrying towards her.

" I hope your ladyship is feeling better and refreshed?" asked the healer.

" Yes, thank you," was her reply.

Eowyn sat up, feeling her muscles snap into place. Except for her right arm, which was as lifeless as it had been since she fell to the nazgul. She was not as strong as she used to be, but that was expected.

" Would your ladyship care for some food?" inquired the healer.

Eowyn realized that she was ravenously hungry, having not eaten properly for several days.

"Yes,please. And may I also have some water, please? Thank you." replied Eowyn.

The healer nodded and left the room, leaving Eowyn by herself. She got out of bed, feeling her legs weaken a little under her weight. She walked over to the balcony, enjoying the breeze against her face. She looked out to see a white city, still bearing the casualties of war. Even in this state, it was beautiful, winking out at her. And many of the healers looked upon her and the great city notice a great amount of similarities between them. Both were tall,stron, and fair beyond the measure of living things. Both had fallen into decay, and the same hand had brought them both back to the light.

"M'lady, your food is here,"said the healer, having returned laden with a tray of food.

Eowyn returned to the bed and chewed on a piece of bread. Instantly she felt strength returning to her limbs and her stumach being filled. When she was finished with her lunch, the healer took it out, leaving Eowyn alone again.

Eowyn was restless. She got out of bed and streched a little-this task was made harder for her right arm was in a sling. She longed to get free of theis room, this place, so she walked out the door, trying to find the warden. On the way out, she met her healer.

" M'lady! How comee you are not in bed? 'Tis the first day you have awoken! You shall lose all the strength you have regained! To bed,M'lady! Now!"

And Eowyn, accepting defeat, followeed the healer into her room.

Eowyn had now been in the houses for a week, and had been forced to stay in bed for most of the time save for occasional walks in the gardens. She became very restless, prone to sulks and solitude, and the healers were worried. They saw that she needed to be free, but that might weaken her and take all of the strength she had regained while in her time in the houses, so they held out.

As for Eowyn herself, she felt that her time in the houses was over, that she had milked out all the healing that she was going to get. For the healers knew not that they looked upon one who's heart had been cleaved in two-and then surrounded with ice, nevertheless that it was made that way by the same hand that had brought her back to the light.

Eowyn was used to constant movement and rigorous training, and to be confined in bed for so many days was almost like being back in her dream. Her hand itched for a sword, her body for the support of a horse. She decided to slip out, though this time more stealthily than last. She wished she had some breeches but all she had was her healing robe, so she set off with that to the armory, knowing there she could find a sword. She carefully climbed down her balcont and jumped into the main road. Ah, what a pleasure it was to be free again. She asked a couple commoners for directions and made her way. She could feel her strength leaking out of her, little by little, but she maded herself go on.

" I am a shieldmaiden," she said to herself, " not a prisoner too weak to even get out of bed. I am of the house of Eorl, and am made of steel."

After what seemed like hours, Eowyn clambered up the steps to the armory. To her relief, it was empty except for a couple of guards patrolling around it. Eowyn searched for a blade she could use, finally spotting one, with a thin handle and slender blade. She lifted it and felt a thrill coursing through her. Ah, it was so light and swift! Eowyn(using her left hand), brought the sword down in thrusts and parries, running through sequences, onand on and on, until her fatigued limbs could do no more. She put down the sword and stumbled down the path, using all her efforts to get back to the houses of healing.Darkness was creeping through the sky, making it difficult for Eowyn to see. In this dim light she knocked into a tall man dressed in dark colors, which, because of his attire, she had not seen.

" Oh, I'm terribly sorry," she said to the stranger.

" It's perfectly all right," replied a familiar voice.


	2. Confessions

well, the new chapter is up. I hope you like it :)

Eowyn was in the houses of healing, lying on her bed. She had never remembered feeling like this before. Yes, she had endured pain and loss , but not anything like this. Eowyn had never been scared in her life. She had never felt out of control of her body and actions. How could she ever be herself again, if he was always here? She had just heard his voice, and what did she do? She gaped at him, speechless, than turned and ran, completely out of control, tears coursing down her cheeks, of sadness or joy, she didn't know. She ran and ran, her feet pounding the hard gravel of the streets, until she went to her ward, burst through the doors, and collapsed on her bed. She was so scared, so frightened, that one man could do this to her, when hords of armies couldn't. So she wept. Tears of joy, of sadness,of fright, of what she didn't know. But she wept.

It was the next day, a beautiful day with sun and no clouds, and Eowyn had woken up feeling much more calm, and in control of herself, and dressed and dined with a light heart. She was quite keen on going to the armory again today, but she promised herself that she would never see him again, never bring upon her this madness that he only could seem to create. She would forget about him, what pain she had endured because of him, how he had crushed her life once before. She didn't need him to be happy, and she would show him that. Assuring herself made her feel much better, and she was just getting ready to climb down her balcony into the street when there came a knock of the door.

"M'lady Eowyn, I am sorry for the interruption, but you have a visitor," came the healer's voice on the other side of the door.

Eowyn opened the door, to see her healer accompanied by someone else. A tall, dark stranger, with a grey cloak and a smile.

Oh dear gods.

It was him.

Just when Eowyn thought she was getting over everything he appeared in the doorway, making her heart beat faster and her mind to go awry. Then she remembered yesterday, and her cheeks burned with embaressment.

" I was just wondering if I could have a word with you, M'lady," he said.

"Oh yes, of course," croaked Eowyn.

The healer left and he closed the door. He motioned for her to sit, and she did, trying not to collapse or show what a strain this was for her. She was a shieldmaiden, after all.

She waited for him to say something, about why he had come, but he was busying himself with his cloak, which had come undone.

" I just came here to ask you if you were alright," he finally spoke. " After yesterday," he clarified.

Eowyn felt her cheeks burn even more. So this was why he had come. To question her undignified behavior. As if she needed reminding.

"I'm sorry, my lord," she replied." I do not know why I acted that way."

He didn't look completely satisfied with that answer, but didn't question any more.

For some reason unknown to her, Eowyn felt a lump in her throat beginning to form, and her eyes were starting to get moist. He looked worried that he had hurt her somehow, as he noticed these symptoms. Eowyn opened her mouth to say that she was fine, but needed a bit of fresh air, but the words never got out. Instead the barrier holding her tears back burst, and she found herself crying, openly, in front of the man that she was trying to show no emotion to, to forget. But she didn't care anymore. All she could feel was sadness, sadness for her uncle, her cousin, her parents, and even herself. She didn't know why seeing him would evoke this in her, but perhaps it was because he was the remnant of her happiness, he was the only one who had brought joy to her heart ever since her parents died, and he was the reminder of what she had lost.

Eowyn felt his hands on her back, worried tones coming from his mouth, but what the words were she didn't know. She was locked in her past, her memories, her pain, and she realised there that the only way to heal herself was to confront everything she had tried to run away from. That included him. She steeled herself for what she was about to do, and raised her face out of her hands, and looked straight into his eyes. When she did that, something changed. The sadness inside of her was still there, but looking into his eyes made her calm, and she felt not afraid of what she was going to do. She opened her mouth, wondering how to begin.

Then it all came out. Everything. She could not look at him anymore, but concentrated all her efforts on getting all she needed to say out of her mouth. She told him how she had been hurt and lonely ever since her parents had died, but tried to be strong. She told him how she was closing off all her connections to the outside world, one by one. She told him how she never let anyone into the icy barrier surrounding her heart. How when her uncle got sick, she tended to him, and watched as the last father figure to her wilted like a lily in winter. Then, with apprehension, she told him that he was the one that made her heart happy, he was the one that ended the winter and started the spring, and how she admired him. She told him how when he went away,told her that her affection was just a shadow of a dream, her desire to live went out, and she went back to winter. She told him how when she saw her uncle fall, all she wanted to do was to die, and die with as much pain and valor as she could. How whever she met him, she felt so scared, because she couldn't control her self anymore. She told him everything. Everything.

And he listened. Just listened. With a worried expression and a breaking heart, he listened. When she was finished, he just looked at her, admiring her bravery.

She said," I'm sorry. I should be getting my luncheon soon,and I better wash up."

He intreperted this comment rightly as a dismissal, so he said,

" Oh yes, sorry, I should be going on my way as well. Good afternoon, M'lady."

And with that, he left.

Eowyn sat on her bed. She felt relieved somehow by that confession. But she felt something else. She didn't know what, but it was different. When he had looked at her, she didn't feel the normal symptoms she felt whenever he looked at her. It was new. It was the beginning of something.

"Goodbye, Aragorn," she whispered to the air.

So, what did you think? Should i just junk it? Please review, if i get enough positive feedback I will continue the story.


	3. Broodings and spying

Okay people, the third chapter is up. hope you like it:)

Eowyn was on her balcony window, looking out into the vast city of Minas Tirith. It was now sunset, and she watched the sky, red and orange, slowly begin to darken. She felt the cool breeze blowing through her hair and the sun's last rays on her face - oh, what she would give now to have not a care in the world. But alas, that was not to be her fate. She, the shieldmaiden, had just confessed all her worries, her secrets, her soul, to a ranger. A particular ranger, that only asked if she had recovered from their encounter the night before, and instead of just answering plainly, she poured out her soul to him. If it was any consolation, she told her self, he most likely knew all this already.

'But I'm a shieldmaiden!' she exclaimed exhuberantly to her surroundings. ' I do not need any man's pleasure.'

But Eowyn knew, in the deepest part of her heart, that she was lying. How else could you explain the fact that when Aragorn made the tiniest complement, such as 'thank you', her heart soared above the clouds? That when he did so much as smile at her, the gloomiest day turned into the most wonderful time of her life? He was the only one that had the power to make her truly, truly happy, and this was why she was so scared of him.

After her confession, though, she had to admit to herself that she felt better. She could probably never look at him again for mortification, but by admiting to herself and to him that he was the cause of her anguish and happiness had eased some of the pain in her heart. All of those feelings were just building up in her, waiting to be let out, but she had never let them. For years, she had inwardly held them, until finally they broke free. Which is why Aragorn now knoew all of her secrets. Eowyn would now have to face the consequences of her actions, which most likely included eternal shame whenever she looked at him. But still, she felt really calm, and she felt that the winter in her heart was melting again and making way for spring, maybe even summer. But now all Eowyn could do was wait.

For even after her confession to Aragorn, she knew that he most likely didn't return her feelings. She knew about Arwen, the elven princess, whose beauty was rumored to surpass even the night sky. It was not jealousy Eowyn felt for Arwen, for Eowyn was far to strong and proud a woman to do so, but envy. What a woman she must be, to claim the affection of such great a man! Eowyn longed for a glimpse of her, just to quench her own curiosity. But somewhere in her heart, even though Eowyn tried to believe that she thought that Aragorn could love her, she had hope. A little glimmer, perhaps, almost invisible, but it was there, and no matter how hard Eowyn tried to force it out of her body, it stayed in its place, with the resolution and stubborness many people admired in Eowyn herself.

Eowyn, to while away the time until nightfall, snuck out to the armory again. She was alot stronger than when she last visited, and she ran through her exercises without a flaw. Feeling exhausted but satisfied, she trudged back down the lonely streets, bathed in the last rays of the sun, until she reached her room. Hopefully no one would have noticed her absence, but to her dismay, she found that she had missed dinner, and the warden was hysterically searching for her. When he saw her, she was treated to a long lecture on telling the healers or himself when she wanted to go somewhere, and that she wasn't even supposed to be out of bed yet. Eowyn tried to put on a sorry face, but when the warden turned to leave the room, she rolled her eyes.

Somewhere in the shadows, there was an inaudible chuckle.

Eowyn sat up. She thought she had heard something outside her balcony, almost like laughter. She grabbed a small dagger she had smuggled from the armory, and cauciously crept onto her porch. After her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she searched for the source of the noise. Her eyes fell upon a small cat, and realising he was probably just meowing, she went inside and fell asleep.

But the cat wasn't the only one there. A man crept out, as soon as he had seen that the figure on the balcony had gone inside. This man was tall, and had a grey cloak, fastened by a brooch with a leaf of lothlorien on it. He petted the cat absentmindedly, but his eyes were still on the balcony, where the woman stood just moments before. A while passed, and the cat crept away, and only at daybreak did the man stand up, sigh wistfully, and go home.

so, how did you like it? sorry, i know it's short, but the next one should be up really soon! if i don't get enough reviews, though, i'll stop the story, so please review! thanks!

lily


End file.
